Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (98)

This scene simply fails at being funny, because of how badly it's handled; on second thought, the whole process of character development in this game is terrible, especially that of Leon. Oh, and Claude, despite being so full of himself, Leon is still a kid, so it's hardly surprising that he'd be scared of monsters; if you had him participate in battles, you'd know right away (but you didn't, because he was 4 or 5 levels ahead of the others).

Things couldn't have been so simple, we're in a game, a long game, and what would be unexpected in real life has come to be expected in these situations. Here comes the 'boss' of the 'dungeon' (see how silly it reads if you think about it?), or rather two of them! They look like Egyptian deities, they're pretty dangerous, and will give you a beating if you're not careful: a pretty high evade rate and spells like 'Lightning' and 'Cure all' make them very powerful, but all these aren't good reasons for them to attack our adventurers. I guess they couldn't ask them later either (Celine: not even bones this time).

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (97)

Wow, I sure wouldn't have noticed that huge heap of shiny green mineral if you hadn't told everyone, and you certainly looked for it very hard, Leon; I mean, it's not like you didn't guide the group to this place, did you?

Finally the search of the mineral required to build the Lacour Hope has come at an end; while Leon rejoices (dissimulating his embarrassment at not taking a map of the place beforehand to find the site faster) and starts searching for a suitable quantity of the material, Rena notices that her pendant seems to be glowing lightly, but nobody can really explain the reason for it.

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I was actually a bit surprised to find an item description like this, but what I was even more surprised of was the fact that you can use this item on your characters, even in battle. What's the point? I mean, offering a deadly item for use isn't really smart. You might also want to know that there's some more items like this, but I cannot remember them right now.

The item screen once again. Why, you ask? Claude was really tempted to dip this delicious-looking root into Leon's food rations; Rena reproached him, saying that, while Leon isn't very friendly, his smart-aleck attitude makes him so much cuter. Then Claude finally realized that the blue hair theory he had in mind wasn't too much of a fantasy; he knew his school grades were high for a reason.

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (95)

This is one of the most refined 'leftovers' we've found in our journey, and this makes it even more disappointing that the game didn't elaborate more on these lost civilisations; but it also makes me feel like the game designers had simply decided to throw in as many stereotypical 'ruins' (meaning mysterious ruins in sci-fi movies and science fiction) as possible, which is perfectly in line with the objective of the game, that is making it the most cliché imaginable.

That squeezing lift showed mercy on Claude and the others, letting them access an underground cave instead of offering them a painful death. In here we can find loads of dangerous, not to mention funny-looking, monsters, mainly fearsome palette-swaps of enemies they've met before (which means stronger and more vicious). But our heroes won't stop at these petty annoyances, they've got a mission to accomplish: search every nook and cranny of the mine, open every single treasure chest they find, and trigger every switch they happen to find on their way...

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Ouch! So Claude fell into a trap and died... Not really. This is actually a lift to the underground mine, but looking at it always makes me feel like the party was squished in that thing. It doesn't make sense if you ask me, but a lot of things in this game don't.

Not much to say here, apart that Claude has made sure all the treasure chests were empty after their arrival; apparently Leon doesn't care much about that, he must be so deep in his studies that he doesn't think about much else (other than regularly bragging about his 'skill').

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (93)

Claude: I can see that, and I'll ignore the fact that you failed your first two or three attempts at opening it, as well as the other fact that you needed my collaboration to open it
Leon: as if pushing a button at the same time I pushed the other one could be called collaboration; also, I was the one who figured it out, certainly not you.

Not even a massive steel gate secured by ancient mechanisms can stop our adventurers from proceeding towards their goal! Thanks to Leon's intuition (which, by the way, had no reasonable explanation), and Claude's cooperation (yeah, pushing the right buttons is a man's job), the gate magically opens, showing the way to a dark corridor and some rooms. Time to loot... I mean, time to gather our well-earned treasure!

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (92)

I imagine that, in his previous attempts at opening this gate, Leon must have used some pretty rigorous and highly scientific methods to figure out its hidden mechanisms. On the other hand, it's weird that the locking system on the gate wouldn't work the same way all the time; it kind of reminds me of a certain PC operating system in the Nineties.

Once again at sea, this time Claude & friends are in for a slightly longer trip, towards the uninhabited island to the north of Lacour: a large, desolate island, covered by woods and surrounded by ice, with nothing on it of note except the mysterious Hoffmann Ruins, which stand out in the middle of the forest, towering over the silent land. Here sleep the remains of yet another lost civilization, one even more advanced than the one responsible for the cavern near lake Col, one even more imperscrutable in its inner workings and structure: more precisely, why would they have built such a high building when inside there isn't much apart from a lift that goes underground? Ah, mysteries...

Here Leon is struggling to open a sealed gate at the entrance of the ruins, which he claimed he could open with utmost ease; he's also started getting a little bit more friendly towards Claude, as he now calls him 'big brother' (it does sound a bit weird, at least to me, but then I know about the Japanese habit of addressing other people like this, in this case a kid to a youngster).

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (91)

That's the spirit! ...Uh, I didn't mean it, seriously.

Hilton is almost deserted, except for this carefree guy, the bartender and the ship crew; for such a small town, it was quite busy and crowded, but now everybody is afraid of the monsters attacking everywhere. Can the Warrior of Light save the innocent people of Expel from certail annihilation?

Claude: "Well, uh... why don't we wait and see what's about this Lacour Hope first? I mean, if it can blow up entire islands, there's no need for me to stand in the way".

Ok, Claude... You won't be able to save them anyway, so... Oh, sorry for the spoiler!

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My reasonong is this: if the traps were already there, he cannot be so sure they'll all explode, even if someone tried one or two. Therefore, let's try them all ourselves! Well, there's actually a severe lack of secret passages compared to the number of explosives (maybe just one or two), but our heroes won't die for something so trivial as multiple explosions causing cave-ins.

Claude, Rena, Leon and the other ladies have come back to this puny little port town which I won't even dignify with a name, in order to take the ship that will transport them to the Hoffmann Ruins, where a certain mineral is found. Said mineral is necessary for the completion of the Lacour Hope, and this mission is of utmost importance: you'd have to wonder why the king couldn't spare a couple of soldiers for this instead of the Warrior of Light, but hearing Leon, he could probably take this on by himself (I'd love to see a Hoffmann Ruins run with just Leon as a party member.

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This is where I started liking Leon; despite the many attempts of the game at making him sound like a spoiled, boisterous brat who actually gets scared to death "in real life" like a normal kid his age, he can surely live up to this statement. I mean, he can summon demons from Hell's Gate, what more do you want?

Leon Geeste is renowed in all of Lacour for his intelligence and scientific accomplishments (well, of the latter I'm not sure, since other than the Lacour Hope we don't know of anything else he might have invented), but also for his peculiar character: he's so full of himself that he won't admit defeat. He also sports a deep knowledge of the Dark Spells of Heraldry, including the only spell known to man that is capable to hit enemies multiple times (ok, this might sound weird to normal people, but players who understand the term 'damage-cap' surely understand the importance of this).

In battle Leon is a good offensive spellcaster, in contrast with Celine who has some support spells and her offensive ones use different elements. His normal attack, however, is quite special: he opens his book, which he always carries with him, and a strange sword-swinging figure comes out. This makes for a weapon with an unusually long range, high speed and low recoil; if it weren't for Leon's laughable running speed and lack of Killer Moves, he would make quite a fighter.

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (88)

This line actually marks my first epiphany in the world of games: I finally realized what the word 'dungeon' actually meant, outside of the meaning generally used in JRPGs.

And this is a really concise way to set things straight; it's funny to see Claude arguing with a (blue-haired) kid. And for the last time, he's got cat ears, for God's sake! Why doesn't anyone notice it?!

... the castle's underground research facility! Here's the king (very sorry that you can only see his back) and a family of scientists with hair colour corresponding to the three primary colours, which confirms that the kid isn't their biological son (... huh? What cat ears?).

Claude overhears some bits of this discussion between the king of Lacour and the scientists, but is caught red-handed by a guard; he tries to justify his position, but the kid, who seems the most concerned about the matter, doesn't seem to have any sympathy for him (later on we'll learn that it's actually the king who, while not talking much, has gathered the most amount of doubts and suspicions about Claude). Leon Geeste, this being the kid's name, is a prodigy child, and the genius behind the creation of the ultimate war machine: the Lacour Hope, i.e. a particle cannon which can destroy small islands (there are none on Expel though, how could he tell... oh, I get it, he destroyed all of them during tests!).

Leon, I was saying, may be a genius, but surely he can't keep his mouth shut, be it from boasting his intelligence, bad-mouthing the others, or revealing the secrets of the Lacour Hope to perfect strangers, case in point Claude and the others.

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (87)

What kind of tools might the soldiers have been in need of? Moreover, it's the first time I noticed this guy's name is Noel; doesn't ring a bell? Of course, if you haven't played the whole game, you couldn't know.

...No, not in the library. The king of Lacour must be somewhere else. Oh well, might as well try to find something more about the Sorcery Globe in these texts... Too bad they were all confiscated as well. But Claude is surprised that, between the castle and Linga, Lacour has such a vast amount of books; yet he can't help but wonder why the very same place hosts a fighting tournament. Deep in thought about the peculiarities of the Expellian civilizations, Claude walks off and about, wandering further and further, until...

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (86)

Yeah, how about emptying the contents of that ordinary-looking treasure chest there? Nothing suspicious with that, yes? I mean, I've been doing things like this in other places and nobody's complained.

Claude, Rena and the other girls are stuck in the castle of Lacour because of the monster invasion, but the investigation of the Sorcery Globe must continue one way or another, so the group looks around to find the king, who seems nowhere to be found, in order to ask him for leave.

Claude cannot help plundering around for treasure, but there's not much, since most weapons have been confiscated for use in the army at the front: luckily grandpa Jamgee managed to keep a protector he was working on, and generously decides to present Claude with it. Other than that, there's just a random bunch of townspeople and their children getting lost in the castle, but noone seems to know where the king is. Our search leads us to the basement...

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (85)

This is just another sample of sentence...! in this game, only I found this funnier because it makes it seem like this green-haired guy is wandering around all gloomy and depressed, muttering 'We're doomed' to himself, and is suddenly startled by Claude tapping his back (!).

During the night spent at Bowman's, Claude has a short chat with the pharmcist about frivolous things, like Bowman's desire to participate in their quest (and frustration at not being able to due to her lovely wife) and Claude's moment in the conflicting relationship that ties the protagonists of the game (Claude: 'Rena is nothing special to me' *blush*). The next morning everyone is in high spirits and ready to leave for Lacour Castle: after giving Claude a cryptic lesson of life or two, Bowman says goodbye to our adventurers and asks for a weird souvenir from their travels, that is, their lives (of course it was worded better, but this way it makes him sound more bloodthirsty).

Back on track on their expedition, our heroes quickly reach the castle, in hopes of finding it less crowded and with a more available king to talk to; their hopes weren't entirely unattended, because the castle appears to be almost deserted! A kind guard informs Claude that Eluria, the capital city of the continent of El, has been invaded by monsters, and now they're planning to invade Lacour as well, therefore all the townspeople have taken refuge into the castle. Despite Claude's will to help fight the monsters off, he's invited by the guard to take shelter as well, along with the others. Things seem to get complicated (as if they weren't complicated enough).

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When Bowman says 'Keith thanked ME!', it sounds like we known him well enough to understand it's a very unlikely occurrance, therefore inducing laughter; the problem with this is the group met Bowman only recently, and Keith just now. It just doesn't make sense.

Claude kindly spares Bowman and Keith his bruised ego (but not Celine, who couldn't resist saying 'Yes, my dear, busy professor') and hands over the Ancient Writings, now become even more ancient by the time elapsed since they found them in Cross Cave. About that cave, its name seems to provoke a sort of intellectual hard-on on men of science, because every time you mention it, you'll always get them to say 'Why didn't you tell me sooner?' or 'Now that's a different story'.

Long story short, after a quick look at the manuscript, Keith unsurprisingly reveals that this could be 'a watershed discovery'; far from asking what kind of water he was talking about, Claude agrees to leave him the writings for translation (the language seems similar to the famous ancient Labarre). Since it's already late, our heroes accept Bowman's hospitality for the night.

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I don't know about you, but this one made me laugh, and regret I couldn't recruit Bowman anymore (although for me Precis is still the better choice).

I don't think we needed to get the whole group inside, but I guess everyone had something they wanted to say, or possibly had the desire to look at the linguist straight in the face; after all they weren't treated very politely. Surely having Bowman mediate the conversation is a good thing, he can handle people of any kind. Now that I think about it, I doubt the game ever mentions any details about Bowman's universitary career (or lack thereof), nor his motives for dropping out; there's so much about the backstories of this game that it makes me wonder why they kept the worse parts instead...

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Um, he's busy deciphering some ancient text given by the king, you told us yourself some time ago...

Our group is already back in Linga with a sample of Clarisage to show Bowman, who expresses his satisfaction, although he's seen that herb before: as promised, he offers his help to get Claude and the others in touch with the linguist immediately. And what better way does Bowman have to get Keith's attention in spite of the enormous work he's swamped in? Naturally, shouting at his door.

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Precis has such a wicked look in her victory pose; zoom in for a better effect.

Claude was already having a hard time acknowledging that green herbs can grow in a cave, and now he's having trouble understanding how they can see their way so clearly in said non artificially illuminated cave. Meanwhile Precis is having trouble keeping up the fight: every time she sees vicious werewolves and blonde dominatrix women trying to subdue the party, she feels the inexplicable urge to pound them with a 10-ton hammer she comfortably carries around in her backpack along with Bobot, but she's already run out of MPs to use such a technique. I don't know about you, but Claude being "contended" for by a girl with a strength like that and another girl who can summon leaden weights out of thin air (Rena's 'Press' and 'Gravity Press' spells) does make me feel bad for the poor galactic castaway.

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (80)

There would be nothing strange with the scene above, if you didn't have to watch it without variations every single time you get a herb in this cave (there's about eight if I remember correctly). Claude may be ignorant about Expel's variety of herbs, but it seems he's ignorant about variety of speech as well.

Our group of heroic adventures penetrates the fearsome Sanctuary of Linga in search of rare herbs, with Precis tagging along as its newest member and official mood-maker (she says so herself in a later Private Action, and I've got nothing to object about it). Right at the entrance of the cave Claude spots a grassy patch with an extremely rare plant in the middle of it: it's called Lavander, and it's so rare you can only find it on Expel, Earth, Roak, Nede and a couple other planets (in varying numbers). Unfortunately that surely isn't what Bowman expected them to find, so the exploration continues... er, begins, actually.

This isn't really a dangerous place if you're prepared, and it's brimming with useful treasure; if you go too far though, you'll end up at the Door to the Netherworld, where some disgusting tentacular monsters attempt to eat your party alive. Gameplay-wise, it means that if one of these creatures gets close to a character in battle, it can swallow him/her whole, and if all your characters get eaten before one has the chance of setting the others free (by hitting the monsters), it's game over for you! I learned this the hard way.

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Oh, they were just being kind... er, I mean, you'd be surprised to know that the only people treating you as a normal person are aliens; wouldn't you, Precis?

Precis has been basically accepted into the group: she says she needs some more time to pack some things and say goodbye to her old man. Everyone meets later at the town's entrance, Opera and Celine are surprised of this new entry ('Are you sure about that, Claude darling?'), but welcome her without too many ceremonies. We still have to go to the Sanctuary of Linga though.

Some trivia about Precis:

• she's 16, only one year younger than Rena, but she acts like a child no more than 12 years old
• if you had recruited Ashton Anchors instead of Opera Vectra, you'd see right away that Ashton has a crush on Precis, saying little more than 'she's my type'; well, she doesn't look like a barrel to me...
• the voice actress for Precis does the voice over for Celine as well (at least in the English version, I don't know about the Japanese one)
• this girl is responsible for some of the funniest Private actions in the game, especially when playing with Claude

Funny Bits in Star Ocean 2 (78)

For me this has to be the single funniest exchange in the whole game; forgive me if it's actually some idiomatic reply or something like that, I had never heard of it before I played Star Ocean 2.

So Claude and Rena are offered some tea and start asking about their machines and how they started building them. Unfortunately the discussion goes nowhere, and they're about to leave without much information, but as they're walking away outside Precis suddenly rushes out and tells them the truth: all those materials apparently fell from the sky some time ago, and they've tinkered a bit with them, just that.

But at one point Rena displays some jealousy towards Claude, when Precis gets a little too close to him (scenes like that happen often on the first planet, you know, the usual "I like you but am too shy to admit it" thing you can find in most clichéd love stories, especially in JRPGs). Precis, unlike Rena, seems less restrained in showing her interest in Claude, but the argument is put on hold by her noticing that Rena mentioned their mission: apparently Precis is really interested in the Sorcery Globe because, since it fell from the sky, she might find more machines to tinker with. At this point you can either brush her off or get her into your party, to Rena's dismay ('Things are going to get lively'). Just a couple of warnings: if you recruit Precis you cannot recruit Bowman on the same playthrough, and I suggest you try her in battle before saving (it's not because she's weak, it's because of her voice, which might annoy you).