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Since there's nothing really funny about the last battle, I thought I'd at least have a screenshot of it, even if it isn't funny. By the way, you can see all my characters are doing fine so far: having the Eternal Sphere and Bunny Shoes equipped, Claude is almost no match for the opponent, although he still needs help from his friends.

The last of the Ten Wise Men, Indalecio, is busy activating the Crest of Annihilation, in a room on the 8th floor of the Fienal stronghold that can only be accessed by going up to the 9th (and last) floor. Yeah, if you thought this place was an architectural mess, now you know it's even worse... To be fair, I guess they might have made it like a castle or a fortress on purpose, but I don't want to know how. When our heroes arrive to the room, which seems to house the Quadratic Sphere (remember the Sorcery Globe?), they're too late - or at least Indalecio says so: the crest is completed and it only needs activation. Indalecio is sure his plan will succeed because he knows the crest will be activated in any case, but he doesn't know about the Crest of Enchantment Rena is carrying with her.

Before the inevitable fight, our heroes question Indalecio about his need to destroy the Universe, for they hope to change his mind since it's so dumb an idea, to which he replies by saying that the destruction of the Universe was the sole purpose he was made for, his raison d'etre. We don't get any more than that, but let me tell you a bit of what could have happened...

There are two separate events that reveal a bit more of who the Ten Wise Men, and more specifically Indalecio, are: the first is the set of Private Actions involving Chisato which I've already mentioned, and that only gives you some more information; the second is completely independent from the first, and it only reveals part of what you can find out with Chisato, but it changes the final part of the game. You can trigger both events anyway. We'll eventually come back to that.

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Does this stone naturally have that yellow Q-shaped frame?

The more our heroes advance in their mission, the stranger the treasures they uncover are. Minerals they've never seen before are a good example of that: I bet neither Claude nor the Expellians knew Mythril actually existed (and Claude is certainly glad it does), although probably our friend Ernest the adventurous space archaeologist has already had the pleasure of seeing some... Oh, about him... To think that I've almost forgotten about him being in the party: I've simply stripped him of all his equipment and thrown him at the last party slot, never using him in battle. The only times I'm reminded Ernest is still with us is during cutscenes and when I'm scrolling through the characters' equipment screen.

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Ok, this is just another typo, but it stands out so much... We're close to the end of the game, you know that.

Cyril's plans to overthrow the leader of the Ten Wise Men failed the moment he decided not to wait for our heroes to defeat his boss first: he might have had a chance at defeating them if he had attacked them by surprise after they had won, since they'd be tired then (on second thought, no, he wouldn't have, not in my case at least). In the end, he was just another (un)wise man who fell by the hands of justice.

Battling these powerful beings one after another, our friends don't have much time to wonder about what the Ten Wise Men's reasons were for wanting to annihilate the whole universe; rule it? That, one could understand. But since we're almost at the end, someone in the party already feels in grasp of victory, loses the constant fighting tension that accumulated during the assault: it won't change their final task, that is to stop the Crest of Annihilation, but they have a right to know the reasons they're fighting against.

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If only these Ten Wise Men had tactics that were a tad more advanced that the typical 'wait in a room and deploy weaker fighters to face the attackers', or the slightly more refined 'gang up on the attackers, but not more than 3 at a time'. I mean, when they got the news that Marsilio & co. had been killed, wouldn't they feel like using something like that intergalactic cyclotrone cannon they used to blow up the Calnus on our emerging heroes? You know, just to be sure. After all, didn't Berle himself say 'a lion must expend all his effort to catch a rabbit'? I suppose he was the only one who thought that way...

Cyril is skilled in wind Heraldry, and as we all know, wind is the least powerful element in RPGs (excluding heart, but I doubt many RPGs count that as an element); however, he makes it hit very hard, so it's advisable to have some protection (the Anti spell if you have it, and generally a good number of HP for all your characters). Being a spellcaster, Cyril is weak in close combat, and while he likes to teleport around, if you keep pounding him, he'll stay in place most of the time.

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From time to time I forget whether it's known that the Ten Wise Men are androids and not real people (before the research event with Chisato anyhow), which makes this line quite funny to me.

Only two of the Ten Wise Men are now left. Leaving the floor where our heroes defeated Decus and Vesper, the party faces an imperscrutable labyrinth... By that I mean a boring maze with coloured switches that unlock the way forward or reveal treasures; there aren't even any enemies around. After this pathetic excuse for a puzzle (for some more interesting ones, you'll have to reach the after-game Cave of Trials), there are still some more floors separating the group from the room where Cyril, the second in command. This guy seems a little different from the others: sure, he's still talkative, full of himself, and quite powerful, but he seems to have some mixed feelings about the plans of his leader. I guess Cyril is more of a classical 'rule the world' villain, with traitorous traits to boot, but that doesn't really change anything in the end, since he's still our enemy.

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I bet you can't see the funny here. Well, there's a series of rooms that look pretty much like this one in Fienal, and in some of them there's something in the centre that blocks your character from walking through: I don't know what it is. Also, there's a door in this area that will never open, no matter what switches are pressed; it always nags me, and every time I play the game I want to know what's behind it.

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Claude: You're already dead!

After having disposed of the three forgettable Wise Men at the entrance of Fienal, our heroes, full of confidence, head inside the fortress. This place is a sight to behold: the interiors have all kinds of irregular decorations, from the oddly-shaped tiles on the floor to the tubes running along the walls, to the weird machines you can find here and there. Every door has a red symbol engraved on it (is it the Crest of Annihilation?), and every floor has transporters that lead only to a floor above or below. That last part makes me wonder how much of this is the Ten Wise Men's work, and how much was already there in the building.

There's a good number of robotic guards around, some of which our heroes fought on their first assault to the stronghold; there are also some flying... cartridges of sorts, that can plug into these robots to "upgrade" them, improving their speed and strength. Here and there you can also find a huge phoenix monster (no doubt some other crazy Heraldic beast) resembling Xine from Expel (a creature you can only meet in your quest to help Ashton Anchors, who we didn't bump into); it packs quite a punch, and it has a quick charge attack that easily stuns its opponents, so if you don't have the Eternal Sphere stay on your toes.

Going up from floor to floor, our friends eventually reach the fourth level, where two more of the Ten Wise Men (now down to four) await: Decus and Vesper - so they introduce themselves - seem even more full of themselves, and with some reason, as they're decidedly stronger than the three guys from before. Decus specializes in fire attacks, some of which have devastating power, and smack talk (yes, it's probably the most annoying part, generally because of his voice), while Vesper is the polar opposite, unleashing water attacks. Since it's not common to have accessories that protect against both elements at once, I'd suggest you make your party level up until Rena or Celine learn Anti, a very useful defensive spell that improves the elemental resistances of the whole party for the battle. These two only have brute force on their side, therefore you can eventually overpower them (you can oversmart them as well, if you prefer, but that would involve switching characters a lot, since it's hard to have the AI keep one of them busy).

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I still fail to see the link between these pink, thick-heeled boots and bunnies.

Next to the Eternal Sphere, here's another item that breaks the game; this one you can also get as soon as you're on Nede (well, you need a Synard first), but its powers are much less obvious to the ordinary adventurer. Equipping the Bunny Shoes on a character will make him/her run A LOT faster on the battlefield (emphasis on A LOT, cause I don't wanna change font size), that much you can figure out, but that this gives you an unfair advantage against most enemies isn't a given. While attack speed isn't affected, you should know by now that almost all attacks and Killer Moves require the character to line up with his/her target, in which a dramatic increase in speed helps a lot.

The extra speed from the Bunny Shoes is also useful for significantly shortening the duration of battles against weaker enemies, since now you can have a fighter quickly reach your enemies and dispatch them. Oh, and let's not forget about a very nice side-effect these shoes have: this piece of equipment is one of the few in the game that raises your character's stamina by a good amount, giving him/her the added benefit of almost never having to heal or regain MPs after a battle (if his/her base stamina is high enough, s/he'll even start regaining strength during battle). Finally, the Bunny Shoes can be useful even for spellcasters, both for the increase in stamina and for making them less vulnerable to direct attacks (although it's a waste to equip them on spellcasters, unless you've got spare pairs).

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Not only is there that stuff  in Star Ocean 2, it's also distributed as candies to trick the children into trying them!

They say you can only win them at the Bunny Races. These Magical Drops can be really useful when you're in a pinch in battle (although I don't think they always work), because once ingested, they freeze everyone but the party on the spot for some time. I only got some because I won a race where there were no Bunny Shoes among the prizes, don't get me wrong...

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About what? He must have hit his head when falling to our heroes' beating, that's all they say right after the fight, and then they disappear. I smell bad translation...

It looks like the Ten Wise Men are still cocky, as they didn't block the underwater passage; some of them are actually waiting for the assault team to show up at the gates of Fienal. But this time it's three of them, attacking the group together rather than one by one. After some smack talk (and introductions), Ruprecht, Jibril and Nicolus initiate the battle.

These three guys are stronger than Marsilio and the others, but not by much; however, having all three attack at once can be a problem. Ruprecht and Jibril can teleport around the area instantly, and each of them is very dangerous: Ruprecht has a giant tuning fork for a weapon, and he can use it to create a huge wind blast in front of him, heavily damaging (or most likely killing if your party isn't over-leveled) anyone he's facing; Jibril can 'absorb' one character into some kind of black hole under his tunic (!!! I'm afraid to comment here). Nicolus is the spellcaster of the group, and he specializes in water and lightning Heraldry, so it's best to have some protection against these two elements (if Rena or Celine have already learned Anti it won't be necessary).

If you come to this battle unprepared, you may take a sound beating, but there's no need to worry: being at the entrance of Fienal, not only can you save the game right before the fight, you can also easily return to Nede and make some more preparations. Even then, a bit of strategy will get you past this fight a lot faster: you can either spread out your fighters to keep everyone busy, or you can focus of Ruprecht, who's the most dangerous (if you have the Eternal Sphere and the Bunny Shoes on Claude - like I did - you won't have any problem as long as he stays alive).

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I like how, despite the flaunted seriousness of the story, Narl treats time paradoxes as 'minor problems'. All science fiction novels and movies about time travelling should do the same.

The next morning... Wait, have I ever inquired about Energy Nede's day-night cycle? You know how the artificial planet has an extremely lengthy orbital period, but what about its rotation? And should we really care? After all, like it was on Expel, the game has us believe the night only comes when the party rests at an inn, and in a few other instances.

Sorry for the digression. Our heroes are rested and ready to battle: they line up to embark the Herush once again (won't they have their defenses up this time), but Narl has some additional instructions for them this time. The mayor hands Rena the Crest of Enchantment, a special Heraldic crest that, when placed over the Crest of Annihilation, will 'overwrite it and change its meaning'; before he can explain what it does in further detail, Dr. Mirage shows up and cuts it short, explaining that it'll simply avert the destruction of the universe. After Claude has expressed some concern about the doctor's wounds, which she doesn't seem to care about now, Narl adds that all preparations for their plan to bring Expel back are done, and as soon as the Ten Wise Men are defeated, they'll be able to use Fienal's energy generator immediately.

Reassured by these words, the group hops onto (into?) the Herush once again.

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Claude: I'm not sure I can take that as a compliment, Celine darling...

Wow, that was unexpected! Having ignored Claude's romantic relationship with the girls in the party most of the time, I figured he'd end up with Rena, or even Precis... The last Private Action he had with Celine was in North City, if I remember correctly.

Ahem! I'm sorry, please let me explain the whole thing to the unacquainted with the game.

The group reaches L'Aqua and meets up with Narl; as they're all ready for the final mission - attempt number 2 - the mayor holds a brief meeting in the conference room. He explains that while they've already defeated three of the Ten Wise Men, we will still call them 'Ten' because we're used to it... er... I mean, he explains that the others are way more powerful than those, and now that the threat our heroes pose to their plan is known to them, they may try to employ more effective tactics as well. However, all he can do is ask Claude and the others to be fully prepared for the assault, which will take place as soon as possible... Tomorrow!

Narl tells our friends to enjoy their 'last night' in L'Aqua (this time it's for real, although, game-wise, you can still go back to explore Nede some more whenever you want), which, despite being a military outpost, is still quite a charming place, with all those lush natural surroundings, and the sea shore. Tonight is a quiet, clear, starry night, the perfect moment to spend some special time with the one you love, before the final battle. Claude, despite the advice he gave to Leon, is very fond of double-timing, as he was involved with all the girls in the party (except for Opera... If only we hadn't found Ernest, she'd be... Oh, sorry), but who is the one he really loves? And does she love him back?

The real question is, though, is Celine really the one for Claude? This night doesn't establish that, but it's generally a good enough indicator of that. The pair exchanges some romantic words with one another, and we leave them close together, as the view scrolls up to the starry sky.

Not happy with how the scene played out? Don't worry! This is a game, which means you can have fun with the characters' feelings all you want, and never feel bad about it! For example, there are ways to quickly alter the romance level between characters right before this night, allowing you to view practically each and every possible combination (only between Claude and one of the girls, though, so be warned). If Claude has either a high or a low romance level with every girl (that is, if everyone is about at the same level), you can easily use the authoring skill of each character to make only one girl have a high enough level, resulting in her spending the night with Claude for sure. If that's not applicable, then it may be harder, but it's definitely possible.

What's with the authoring skill screwing with people's hearts, you ask? Well, if a character produces a book, by means of his/her Writing Specialty (and a fountain pen, aren't we the refined writers?), and makes another character read it (once read, the book is discarded for some reason, so always make extras), it will alter the relationship level between the author and the reader. More specifically, one of the books a character can make will alter friendship, while the other (they're randomly chosen, but this one is more rare) will affect romance; in any case, the relationship level will always reach a fixed level (technically, it's an 8 out of 12). Make romance books as needed to have a romantic relationship above the rest, and you're done.

Yes, I did that with every girl (didn't bother with every man in the Rena story), because it's easier than manipulating the game ending (having to win the last fight and all). Unless I've screwed up somewhere, the scene with Claude and Rena is the most platonic one, possibly even the most cliché (after all, it's the one you're most likely to watch). None of these show anything beyond a kiss on the cheek (I'll let you guess who the girl is in that case), and I bet it's the same for Rena.

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Claude: How are you gentlemen!
Funny how they look surprised to see our heroes; maybe they thought they had been killed by the Ten Wise Men, or maybe it's just that they've spent so much time in Fun City having a good time, that they can't believe they're showing themselves like that without making excuses.

Claude, Rena and the others all gather outside of Fun City; telling each other that now the final battle is approaching, everybody resumes a serious attitude, some a gloomy face because still feeling insecure about their victory, some in higher spirits for their success in repelling the Ten Wise Men's attack. The Synard flies our friends to L'Aqua, where Narl is supposedly waiting for them... I hope we didn't make him wait too long.

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This is one of the funniest outcomes you can have: Precis and Leon insulting each other. They're both kids at heart...

Claude and Leon decide on a 'confession spot' for the little Felpool: the Cooking Master room is unoccupied at the moment, and there's nobody around, so it's a perfect quiet spot. Leon literally zooms there, excited as a kid can be, and entrusts Claude with the task to choose the girl for him and bring here there. Our hero is a bit entertained by the idea, but he's also a bit concerned that Leon might have a breakdown in case of rejection, so he thinks about who to choose for a minute. In the end, he goes for Precis, thinking that she's the closest to a kid's mindset, and may understand Leon's behavior better (however worried he may be at her being too rash).

Claude finds Precis still looking at stuff at the souvenir shop; he asks her if she could come with him someplace. The girl is quick to figure out that this is a love cofession, although, to her disappointment, it's not Claude's, he promptly clarifies. She agrees to go with him nonetheless, and once in the Cooking Master pavilion, Claude has to decide on the approach: Leon is hiding behind a seat, waiting for his signal, so he has to choose whether to explain things to Precis first or to let Leon take the initiative. Thinking that Leon probably couldn't handle it by himself, Claude tells Precis about the kid's feelings.

Surprised as she is, Precis somehow jokes about it, thinking Leon might become her assistant in her machine experiments. The little scientist, hearing this, apparently can't take this offense, and comes out of his hiding place: the two start quarrelling, and Claude's at a loss on what to do, except enjoy the show for a bit maybe.

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Oh, it looks like there's some romantic development going on behind our backs...

Well, that was a surprise! I guess you have some competition now, eh Claude?

...well, somebody should tell Leon that when 'it' happens, it doesn't mean you're in love.

This is one of the funniest Private Action scenes you can witness: basically Leon says he's fallen in love with all the girls in your party (if I had recruited Chisato as well, he'd be in love with 5 girls altogether!), and Claude offers to help him confess, but since he's against two-timing, he says he'll only bring one to him (you're no fun, Claude). It's up to you to decide who to bring, but you can always save outside of Fun City and reload the game to see all the possible matchings (yes, I did all of them... Yes, I'm sick). Next time I'll show you one possible outcome, but I'd like to add something now: for some reason, this Private Action can only be triggered if Leon has participated in the Cooking Master cook-off at least once (you don't have to win). Does anyone know why?

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To be frank, Opera, if the main attractions of Fun City are a battle arena, betting on races, and cook-offs, I'd say nobody's too old for that.

Opera's futile attempt at bringing back some dignity to the group only serves to remind our heroes that they should be going; they agree on having one last 'ride', and then it's onwards to L'Aqua. Opera and Ernest decide to relax at the hotel, Rena and Precis are off to make some last-minute purchases, and Celine opts for the bunny races (she seems to like those bunnies). Claude doesn't have anything interesting to do, so he enters the bar to have something to drink, and he's surprised to see Leon inside. The little Felpool, seeing the concerned look of his 'big brother', tells Claude he's just drinking orange juice. They start talking a bit, and it seems Leon has something on his mind...

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Don't you usually say 'fan girl' instead?

Claude didn't really notice how similar the Battle Stadium on Nede is to the arena in Lacour (lazy developers!) until now, and that brings back memories to him, good and bad ones. He wanders around the arena thinking about his adventure, and how he's changed during his travels (not much, after all); absorbed in thought, he unexpectedly finds himself in the comics shop, which is just above the stadium.

Claude doesn't seem to be into comics much (maybe they're not as common on Earth in 2440 AD), but it'd be weird for him to just walk out now, so he decides to look around. There's quite the crowd in here, and Claude notices a girl intent on leafing through an art book. 'Funny' he thinks 'That character has the same name as the dog I had when I was little... Probably just a coincidence'.

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That character's name sounds very interesting...

...but this one has him beat! He's truly hopeless, and an eclectic (or simply way too superstitious for comfort); it's also funny how some religions have carried over from Earth to Nede (or could it have been the other way round?).

After that meeting with Rena, with her dismissing him with a good laugh (if a bit forced, he thinks), Claude resumes his solitary stroll: he has no desire to return to the races, sick of the Bunny Shoes hunt as he is, and there's only one attraction left for him in Fun city. The Battle Stadium is always open to fighters who want to put themselves to the test, and there's a variety of battle modes one can choose from. Being alone, Claude may choose to take on ranked Duel Battles, or opt for the extremely tough Survival Battle, the latter having him endure 50 battles in a row, with only a bunch of support items to aid him. The prizes are good, but not great: a top-rank Duel Battle yields a very good weapon for the participating character, while the Survival Battle nets you a Fortune accessory. 'Fortune' will cause random items to magically appear in your inventory at fixed intervals; you may get something good, but an annoying text box telling you which item you got pops up every time. The real prize for Survival Battle is the huge amount of experience you get, even if you lose! Unfortunately it's only good for fighter characters, since spellcasters usually have a very hard time defending themselves in the tougher battles.

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Here's when Rena finally found out how dumb Claude is.

Claude doesn't seem to get any good prize at the races (except for a bottle of Seltzer... I hear it's getting more and more valuable), and he's bored to death; he thinks maybe some distraction is in order. Let's see... There's the Cooking Master, but Claude can't cook, and there's no match to watch right now. The shops... He's already taken a look there. The comic store? Naw, not interested. What about seeing a fortune teller? What do you know, it might even give him something to think about.

Claude approaches the fortune tellers' pavilion, but he notices that there's someone else other than the usual group of girls: it's Rena! At first Claude thinks he probably shouldn't pry, but the same thing happened with Celine back on Expel, so it can't be a bad thing; he quietly steps closer, trying to hear. To his surprise, Rena's asked the fortune teller specialized in romance readings, specifically about her compatibility with him; she's told that things are looking good, but also that she should take more initiative (Rena always gets the same reading, because for this event to occur Claude needs a high relationship level with her). Interesting.

Unfortunately, Claude is listening so intently to the reading that he doesn't realize Rena is done, and when she turns around she sees him, looks a bit embarrassed, and asks him how long he's been there. At this point you have three options, one of which making Claude admit to have heard everything and add that he's happy about it. The result is more or less what's shown on the screenshot above (Rena also says 'What a cliché!' while laughing... I have no idea what she meant by that).

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Why are the results of the bunny races always truly AMAZING? The real challenge isn't guessing the winners, but enduring the sportscasters' dialogue. By the way, that drawing in the center of the track... Are those bunnies kissing? I suppose it'd look cute, if it weren't for the fact that these giant bunnies aren't cute at all.

The track in the races is a boring oval, which the bunnies have to loop twice in order to win; the race ends after the first two bunnies cross the finish line, determining the winning ticket and the prize. A sportscaster and a commentator introduce us to each race: apparently there are four or five different races/leagues, but that only affects the introductory dialogue, as the prizes and bunnies are entirely random. Yeah, every racing bunny has specific attributes, such as speed, stamina, and intelligence, and the commentator can offer you some insight on these before the race (you can skip that though).

Since we're here to get the Bunny Shoes (what else would we be here for? The races are boring and repetitive, and the other prizes are merely of great value, not that useful), we'll ignore the commentator's bunny overview, and the tipster outside of the track (who offers a probable winning combination for a price); our objective is choose whichever winning pair nets us the shoes, if any. Unfortunately, if the Bunny Shoes aren't among the prizes, you can't take your bet back, and you have to sit through the race anyway, so you'd better choose a good prize, such as a Seltzer or Magical Drops. The only remotely enjoyable activity you can have at the races is watching a bunny charge into the others, tackling them; yes, it's that much fun.

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Why does Claude worry about this bunny having an attention deficit disorder (or an addiction to Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, whatever's the case), when he should be worried that a bunny is here, selling betting tickets for the races?

As mentioned before, the Bunny Races aren't that fun, but you can get some very nice prizes if you win your bets. The items you get for a winning ticket are random, and they range from an ordinary Blueberry, to a Seltzer, to the exceedingly rare Bunny Shoes. Yes, you can get Bunny Shoes even right here, by stealing them from the overly enthusiastic bunny that's selling the tickets, but stealing is wrong! That, and you can only steal once from him, while you can get as many as you like in the races; and I think there are only two or three Bunny Shoes around.